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SHUT THE F*CK UP

How to Talk Less: The 70/30 Rule and a Word Budget

By Joshua S. Brogley · September 5, 2026

Talking less is not a personality change, it is a trainable ratio. Two ears, one mouth: the target is roughly 70 percent listening, 30 percent talking, in any conversation that matters. Get there with mechanics rather than willpower: a word budget for meetings, a two-second pause before replying, and the discovery that silence, which feels like losing, is usually the strongest move in the room.

Count before you cut

Most people have no idea how much they talk, which is why resolving to talk less fails by lunch. Spend one day counting: in each conversation, roughly who held the floor? The honest answer is usually startling, and the number does more than any advice, because from then on you can feel yourself spending words the way you feel yourself spending money.

The 70/30 rule

Seventy percent of the conversation is theirs. Yours is questions, short reactions, and the occasional point that earned its slot. This is not submission, it is leverage: the person who listens at 70 percent knows what the room actually thinks, and the person broadcasting at 70 percent only knows what they said. The full case is in becoming a better listener.

Give yourself a word budget

In meetings, decide in advance how many contributions you get: three, say. It converts talking from a reflex into a spend, and forces the internal question that talkative people skip: is this worth one of my three? Most of what would have been said fails that test, and nobody misses it. The workplace version is covered in listening at work.

Silence is a move, not a gap

The two-second pause before answering feels endless from inside and reads as thoughtful from outside. Silence after someone finishes pulls out the real second half of what they were saying. If your talking runs on nerves rather than habit, why do I talk so much is the honest starting point, and stopping interrupting is the first drill.

Shut The F*ck Up

365 days of closing your mouth and learning to actually listen. One page, one listening mission, one line said out loud.

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How do I train myself to talk less?

Count your share of a few conversations first, then run mechanics: a 70/30 listening ratio, a fixed budget of contributions per meeting, and a two-second pause before every reply. Ratios and budgets work where resolutions fail.

Is talking less a sign of intelligence?

It is a sign of leverage. The person listening at seventy percent knows what everyone thinks; the person talking at seventy percent only knows what they said. Whatever it signals, it collects better information.

written by the author, at the kitchen table, after work.