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STEP THE F*CK UP

Men's Group Discussion Topics: 24 That Get Past Small Talk

By Joshua S. Brogley · October 25, 2026

Part of the series How to Start a Men's Accountability Group That Lasts Past Week Three

Most men's groups run out of topics in month two and default to sports, work and weather. The topics below are built to get past that: each one comes with a question that asks for something specific and a small dare for the week, because a topic without a dare is a conversation and a topic with one is a meeting. Several come straight from Step The F*ck Up, starting with the one most men do not realize still applies to them. Day 236: peer pressure never left.

Self and discipline

1. Adult peer pressure. What do you do only because the group does it? Dare: skip it once this week, in front of them, with no speech.
2. Excuses. What is your most-used excuse, in its own words? Dare: write it down every time it shows up.
3. Fear. What would you do if you were not afraid of how it looked? Dare: one brave rep per day.
4. The voice in your head. What does it say about you most often? Dare: ten pushups per self-insult.
5. Discipline versus motivation. What do you only do when you feel like it? Dare: one non-negotiable, ten minutes, daily.
6. Failure. What is a failure you still tell as a funny story? Dare: tell the accurate version to the group.

Home and people

1. Fatherhood. What will your kids remember about this year? Dare: one boring ritual, made sacred.
2. Marriage. Is your partner getting your best hours or your leftovers? Dare: phone in another room at dinner all week.
3. Friendship. Who would you call at 2 a.m.? Who would call you? Dare: text first, three people, no score kept.
4. Loneliness. When did you last have a friendship that was not built around an activity? Dare: build a table, send the first invite.
5. Your own father. What did he give you that you only recognize now? Dare: write it down, send it if you can.
6. Carrying someone. Who in your life is under the most weight? Dare: take some off this week, concretely.

Money, work and the body

1. Money. Do you know your three monthly numbers? Dare: calculate them before next meeting.
2. Debt and shame. What money decision are you hiding? Dare: say it out loud to one person.
3. Work and identity. Who are you if the job ended tomorrow? Dare: name one skill you are building outside work.
4. Sleep. What is your real average? Dare: a hard bedtime for seven nights.
5. Strength and age. What will you need to be able to carry at seventy? Dare: two strength sessions this week.
6. Anger. What reliably sets you off, and who pays for it? Dare: catch it once and say I felt, when.

Meaning and legacy

1. Faith or meaning. What is larger than you, and does it change your Tuesdays? Dare: one practice, daily.
2. Standards. What is beneath you, permanently? Dare: write your we don't do that here list.
3. Legacy. What would your eulogy say if it were written from this week? Dare: one deposit, today.
4. Regret. What are you not doing that you will regret at eighty? Dare: the first step, dated.
5. Forgiveness. Who are you still carrying? Dare: write the unsent letter.
6. The thing nobody says. What are you not saying in this room? Dare: say it next week.

Step The F*ck Up

365 days, one page a day: excuses, fear, the voice, discipline, ownership, body, proof, people, money, resilience, standards, legacy. No theory. A mission a day.

Buy it on Amazon See the book

What do men talk about in a men's group?

The topics that do not come up elsewhere: excuses, fear, anger, fatherhood, marriage, loneliness, money, the body, work and identity, faith, failure and legacy. Each works best paired with one specific question and one small action for the week.

How do you get men to open up in a group?

Ask for specifics rather than feelings, go first yourself, and give every topic a small dare for the week. Men talk more easily about what they did than about how they feel, and the feelings follow.

written by the author, at the kitchen table, after work.